From Where We're Standing [8/8]

[shadowcat]

Title: From Where We're Standing
Author: enochiansigils and not_from_stars
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing/Characters: Abby Maitland/Hilary Becker, Implied Stephen Hart/Hilary Becker
Rating/Category: PG-13
Summary: Two years ago, Stephen walked away from the Anomaly Research Project and vowed never to set foot near an anomaly again. However, when Nick Cutter calls him for help, he can't say no. Abby Maitland is lost on the other side of an anomaly and her time is running out. Stephen agrees immediately, because he's still in love with Abby. He wants to get her back and let her know how he feels. However, there's a complication that he hadn't expected. Captain Becker -- Abby's boyfriend and Stephen's ex...
Words: 36,000
Notes: Written for casestory Big Bang 2011. We want to thank our wonderful artists for this: weaselett, sexycazzy, and pink_flame_87. Thank you guys so very much for the gorgeous art you made for us!











"Because this isn't the three of us, it's the two of you with me intruding," Stephen said. But he saw what Abby was getting at, and if it was what it took to have her in his life... then he'd do it.

"If you're being asked to stay, you're not intruding," she said carefully as she looked at him for a long moment. Then she looked at Becker. "It would also give you a chance to work out the pain that is still lingering between the two of you."

"I don't want to hate you," Becker said, looking at Stephen. "I want to be able to think about you and feel the way I used to feel."

"And if you stay with us, that would be able to gradually happen," Abby said. "I won't lose Becker, but I'd be able to love you, too."

"So I'd be involved with you both, sort of," Stephen said, trying to make sure he had this right.

Abby looked at Becker, waiting for him to say anything before she said yes.

"No sort of," Becker said, swallowing. "There wouldn't have to be as much involvement between us as between you and Abby, though. But yes."

Abby squeezed his hand, and if she could have, she would have leaned over to kiss him.

Stephen looked at them uncertainly. "What if I want an involvement with you? Or what if I don't want any?" He just wanted everything out on the table before they all committed.

Becker tensed, misunderstanding where Stephen had been going with the questions. "That's up to Abby."

"I'm not leaving," Abby said softly. "Whatever involvement the two of you decide to have is up to you. But I made a promise that only death was going to take me away from Becker." She looked up at Stephen. "But I can't lie and say that I don't love you, too."

"I don't want you to lie," Stephen said. "I want you to have whatever feelings you have for me. Just like I don't want you to pretend you don't love him."

Becker started in surprise at that, because he'd been thinking that was exactly what Stephen wanted.

"That's good to know," she murmured. "It makes me feel better."

"Despite what I've said, I don't want her to stop loving you," Stephen told Becker. "If she loves you, then she loves you. She just happens to love me, too."

That was probably the smartest thing he had said recently. Abby looked between them. "What did you say?"

"I told him I was going to take you away from him. That maybe it'd be easier than he thought it'd be for me to do so. And I may have said some disparaging things about his sister while I was at it." Because if he was going to admit to being a jackass, he might as well get it all out there.

"You told him that you were going to take me away from him," Abby said with shock icing her words. "You told my Becker that you were just going to take me?" She looked at Becker. "And what did you say?"

"Pretty much told him no way in hell was that going to happen," Becker said, looking back at her.

"Because you know that the only way I'd leave is by death or you telling me you didn't love me." She smiled. "It makes our fight seem silly, now."

"And he'd never tell you he doesn't love you," Stephen said. He hesitated. "What was your fight about, anyway?"

Abby looked embarrassed. "I thought he was telling me that he needed some space and that I was too..."

"Too what?"

"Too attached," she mumbled, looking down.

"That's ridiculous," Stephen and Becker said at the same time; it broke the tension a little, and both men laughed slightly.

She shrugged, looking embarrassed. "I said it was silly."

"Don't worry," Becker assured her. "He and I had our share of fights that seemed silly, too. We'll tell you all about some of them one of these days."

"So, does that mean he's not leaving?" She asked the question of both men.

"I can't say I'm happy about any of this, really," Becker said honestly. "But a lot of that is being afraid of a whole lot of things about this. So I'm not going to want him to leave until or unless we figure out that this isn't working. And I know I'm never leaving."

Abby nodded at Becker. She squeezed his hand. "I love you, you know." She then turned to look at Stephen. "What do you say?"

"I say that I was wrong to think I could take you away and even more wrong to act like I did to him, and that I'd understand if you did want me to leave. Either of you."

"But we don't want you to leave," she pointed out quietly. "Didn't you hear Becker? He doesn't want you to leave at all."

"I know," Stephen said, smiling cautiously. "I'm just saying that if he's only saying that to make you happy... he doesn't have to."

Abby looked at Becker, her eyes full of worries and questions.

"I'm saying it because I want her to be happy, yes," Becker said. "But also because I still feel something for you and I can't find out what that is if I make you leave just because I'm not entirely thrilled right now."

Abby turned back to Stephen. "He has a point. The two of you will never know what may or may not be there if you just disappear on us again."

"I've hurt him, though. I never wanted to do that again. But I did it. I wasn't meaning to, but... it happened." Stephen was starting to realize exactly how much of an ass he'd been.

"He's giving you a chance to make explanations and make amends," Abby said softly.

"I never thought I'd get that."

"So what are you going to do about it? If the two people who loved you and were hurt by you -- me nowhere nearly as badly as Becker was -- are asking you to stay..."

"Then I'm going to stay," Stephen said, barely even having to think about it. "It might not always be easy, though. Hilary can tell you I'm difficult at the best of times."

"I think we can agree I've seen you be difficult," Abby said warmly.

"I just want to be sure you both know what you're getting into." Why was he doing this? Why was he pulling away when they wanted him? When he was getting what he'd wanted?

"I think that we're very much aware of that, Stephen, or we wouldn't be asking."

"Then... I'm staying."

Abby gave him a soft smile and then squeezed Becker's hand again. "It will take time, but everything will work out and we'll be all right."

Becker took a shaky breath before holding his free hand out to Stephen. "Come here."

Stephen looked at that hand for a long moment before he stepped forward and took it.

Becker smiled cautiously. "I've never forgotten your touch," he admitted quietly.

Abby relaxed a bit on her bed now that she knew that they weren't going to come to blows.

Stephen relaxed, too, lacing his fingers with Becker's. "I haven't forgotten yours, either."

Abby was content, for right now, any way, to just watch them.

Becker was the only one who wasn't relaxing, but he was at least a little less scared. He'd take it for now. And he had to admit that it just felt right having Stephen there, to be touching Stephen again. He'd missed that.

Abby had never had the chance to do anything with Stephen, but she wasn't in a hurry to bother either of the boys. As long as they understood that there was no way in hell she was leaving Becker, she figured that they could work things out into something wonderful between the three of them.

Becker was still scared that she would leave him, even if he didn't actually believe she would. But he figured he'd get over that, with the two of them there to help him.

Abby was still holding onto his hand. She was fighting off the grogginess from when she first woke up, so they could all talk and went so far as to glare at the nurse that came in to put something in her IV tube.

"Be nice," Stephen chided. "Stop trying to scare the medical professionals."

"I don't want to back to sleep," she argued.

"You need a great deal of rest, Miss Maitland," the nurse said firmly. "You're dehydrated, malnourished. You have two broken ribs, a broken leg, a swollen knee and a broken wrist. You have two serious head wounds. Your shoulder was dislocated with a deep gouge wound, not to mention the numerous lacerations and bruises. What on earth hit you?"

Damn it, she hadn't wanted to answer this around the boys. "A woolly rhino attacked me," she said quietly. "His horn went through my shoulder and he tossed me into the air over the cliff. I hit an arrangement of stones before bouncing off of them and landing in a hole that I think was an underground cave."

And that? Would be Stephen and Becker simultaneously going pale because yes, they'd figured as much, but hearing her actually say it was something entirely different.

"What do you remember after that?"

Abby made a growling noise at the nurse. "The first time I regained consciousness, the pain was so bad that I couldn't move with throwing up. I tried to get to my feet, but my legs wouldn't support me. Only one arm would bear any weight, so I used that arm to pull me forward so I could try to find where I was and how to get out. Unfortunately, it was too dark in there and I couldn't see the way out. I passed out again after that."

Becker was even more pale at that; Stephen pulled his hand away but only to wrap an arm around the younger man and hug him against his side. "She's okay now, love," he said softly. "She's safe now."

"You were blind, Miss Maitland. It says so in the charts that the medic on the scene filled in. That was caused by a head injury." The nurse shook her head. "Now while you seem to have your vision back for now, there is no guarantee that it won't fade out on you again. Until your head injuries heal, that it a genuine worry."

Becker made a scared little whimper that he didn't realize anybody had actually heard.

Stephen, however, had heard it and was busy joining Abby in glaring at the nurse. Bedside manner much?

"Don't give me that look, either of you. She's liable to have issues with her head pain and vision for months while she heals."

"We were there," Stephen said lowly. "We know what issues she might have because we saw firsthand what the injuries looked like when they were still relatively fresh. And this right here? Is Miss Maitland's boyfriend. Who spent three days utterly terrified that she was going to die in his arms because we couldn't get out of that fucking cave until it stopped raining. So kindly think before you open your mouth for your next words or I promise you, you will regret it."

Someone had apparently been channeling Lester's imperiousness.

That was just fine with Abby, who had gone pale herself and fear had washed through her at the thought that she could lose her vision again because the head injuries. She blinked back tears as best as she could, hoping the guys didn't see them. She was thrilled that Stephen had stepped up to speak for Becker because Abby was having a hard time keeping herself firmly under control and not giving in to the fear she had felt while she was trapped.

Stephen hadn't seen the tears, but he had seen Abby go pale. "And now you've scared your patient," he said to the nurse. "So you know what? Unless you have something important to tell us, just get out of here. Now."

"I only told her what she needed to know," the nurse said firmly. "If she doesn't rest and allow her body to heal and she fights us on giving her the medications she needs for that, anything could go wrong. Another hit to her head at the wrong time and she could lose her sight permanently."

Abby whimpered faintly, her hands fisting in the blanket that was over her while a few tears managed to escape before she could stop them.

"There is telling the patient what she needs to know and there is telling the patient what she needs to know in a way that makes you come off as a heartless bitch." Stephen smiled slowly, almost dangerously. "Now, am I going to have to speak with James Lester on this or are you going to find a bit more gentle way to tell her these things?"

He already had every intention of getting this woman taken off Abby's case.

The nurse glared at Stephen for a long moment before she sniffed. "I wasn't trying to be heartless or scare her."

"Well, you were and you did." Stephen's voice had gone calm and ice-cold. When you made him that mad, there was no bailing yourself out.

"Go," Abby whispered, tears sliding down her face. "Just go."

"I'm not finished taking care of your vital signs."

"Get out," Stephen snarled, putting himself quite neatly between Abby and the nurse. "Now."

Faced with having to go through an angry man to get to her patient, the nurse took the path of least resistance and left the room.

Stephen was shaking slightly as she left.

Abby dropped her head back against her pillows and closed her eyes. She hadn't been scared or worried before, because Becker -- and Stephen -- had brought her home. However, right now she couldn't stop the fear sweeping through her.

"How dare she," Stephen said, still in full on protective mode. "How dare she scare you. Both of you."

"Stephen." Becker's voice was quiet. While he enjoyed seeing Stephen get protective, there was now the problem of the frightened girlfriend in the hospital bed.

"How dare she?" he repeated, but the anger had gone out of his voice, which was now quiet. "She scared Abby."

"Who needs us right now."

It took a moment before Stephen had pulled himself together enough to be any use to Abby. He moved to her side, taking one hand gently in his. "It's all right, love," he soothed. "It's all right."

Becker was still holding onto her other hand. "That's not going to happen to you, Abby my girl, I promise. You're going to be fine."

"You're going to do what you have to do and you'll heal and everything will be just fine," Stephen said, using his free hand to reach out and touch Abby's cheek lightly.

"She said I could lose my sight permanently," she whispered.

"If you take another blow to the head while you're healing," Becker corrected. "Which will not happen."

"We're going to do everything we can to make sure you have a restful healing period," Stephen said, fighting back the awkward feeling. He could be awkward later.

"You will rest and let your body heal, Abby my girl," Becker said firmly. "We're not letting you do anything else."

Stephen just nodded agreement.

"I don't like her," she murmured, tears still on her cheeks. "I don't want her to come back into my room."

"She's not going to," Stephen promised. "I'll make sure she doesn't."

"She had no right," Abby insisted. "No right upsetting the two of you."

"She had no right to upset you," Stephen countered. "That alone is why I'm getting her banned from your room."

Well, all right, he'd get Lester to do it. Close enough.

She could tell that Stephen was not in the mood to argue over who shouldn't have been upset. "I will hit her if she comes near me or you guys again."

Yeah, in that state you're in?

"She's not coming near any of us," Stephen promised. "You two are mine and I take care of what's mine."

The sudden territorial behavior that Stephen was exhibiting surprised Abby, but she kind of liked it. She turned her head slight to see what Becker's reaction was.

Becker was just smiling at it. Knowing that Stephen was as worried about him as he was about Abby was going a long way towards making Becker feel better about this situation. He still wasn't happy, exactly, but knowing that Stephen considered them both his made things a little easier.

It did make things easier and she squeezed both of their hands. She was feeling weak, so she was glad that they were there with her.

"Love you," Becker said softly, looking at Abby and smiling gently. "I love you so much, Abby my girl."

"Love you, too," she whispered. "Very much."

Stephen was surprised by just how little he wanted to come between the two of them at the moment. And it wasn't just knowing they needed to say the words, though that was a part of it.

Abby had been terrified when she was at the bottom of that cave and her body was breaking down on her. However, one of the things that had given her a little strength to hang on was the belief in Becker. The belief that he would come for her. He had worked with Stephen -- who loved her and who threatened to take her away from him -- but they worked together and they found her before it was too late.

"We're going to make this work," Stephen said confidently, now that he'd had time to warm to the idea. "It's not going to be easy, but really, when has any of us ever done anything the easy way?"

That got a snort from Becker. "When he's right, he's right."

"I don't think any of us would know how to do something the easy way," Abby admitted tiredly.

Stephen caught the tired look on Abby's face. "We should go," he said. "Let you get some proper rest."

"No." That was fear in her eyes. "I don't want to be alone."

"Okay," he soothed quickly. "Okay. We won't go. I'm going to go talk to the others for a couple minutes, let them know how you're doing, and then I'll be back. Okay?"

She nodded. "All right." If she was left alone, then was right back down in the bottom of that hole again.

Stephen took a deep breath and gave her a smile before heading back into the hallway, where Cutter and Jenny still were.

When he left, Abby tugged Becker closer to her so she knew he was there and not leaving.



Jenny was the first one to her feet when Stephen came out of the room.

"She's doing all right," Stephen said. "Not out of the woods yet, but she's still doing all right."

"Did the two of you upset her?"

"No, but that nurse did. I want you to find some way to get that nurse off Abby's case and kept off Abby's case. Because not only did she upset Abby, she upset Becker." There was no mistaking the protective glint in his eyes.

Jenny eyed him for a long moment and then nodded at him. "We'll see that she doesn't go near Abby again."

"Good. Because Abby was in tears. Nobody makes my Abby cry."

Cutter ducked his head, not about to let either one see his smile.

"Are there any other requests since you seem to be in charge of what comes into her room right now and doesn't?" She gave him a sharp smile. "When I'm not around, that is."

"If you can get them to let us stay, that would be amazing," Stephen said. "She... doesn't want us to leave."

"Too much time spent trapped alone," Cutter nodded. "That's understandable."

"I'll tall to the doctors," Jenny agreed.

"Could you do that now?" Stephen asked. "I need to talk to Nick for a moment... and where's Connor wandered off to, anyway?" Connor had been lurking with the others periodically.

"I can do that and I believe that Connor wandered off with Danny and Sarah to see if there was anything to drink in this place besides watered down coffee." Jenny got to her feet. "Don't upset him, either," she said as she started down the hall to find the doctors.

"I won't," Stephen promised.

Cutter watched her walk away and then looked back at Stephen.

"I just got myself into the most surreal situation I have ever been in, Nick."

Cutter raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What's happened?"

"Them and me... in a relationship."

Cutter didn't even blink as he looked at his friend. "That's different, but you get both of the people you want, right? And you don't have the rest of the team trying to kill you for hurting Becker by trying to steal Abby away."

"I didn't realize I still wanted him." But oh God, did he.

"We never do realize things like that until we're face to face with them."

"I came into this wanting to take her away from him," Stephen said. "But being stuck in that cave with him for those couple days... it made me remember everything I loved about him that I'd tried to forget."

"And how does Abby feel about all of this?"

"It was her idea. She gets to have the two men she loves and the two men she loves get to have her."

"And each other," Cutter pointed out. "Abby's not blind." He winced at that. "Poor choice of words, what I mean is she couldn't have failed to notice the tension between you and Becker."

"He wasn't too happy about the whole idea at first," Stephen said. "But after I got snarly at the nurse... he didn't seem to mind it as much."

Cutter couldn't help smiling and shaking his head. "Only with my team or group of friends would snarly be defined as a turn-on."

"I don't think it was the snarly, exactly," Stephen said. "I think it's more what the snarly represented."

"That you'd step in and defend him while he was tending to Abby?" Cutter guessed.

"That I wanted to defend him. That I wanted to protect him. To be fair, the past few days haven't given him the best impression of me, so I really can't blame him for being surprised."

"So, it wasn't just at her bedside while she was unconscious that the two of you acted like sods?"

"Oh, no, it was pretty much the entire four days we were looking for her and waiting in the cave."

Cutter would have liked to have said that he couldn't believe they had done that, but he knew both men. "Idiot."

"Yeah, I was."

Cutter sighed. "I wish I could say that I'm the worst you're going to end up dealing with, but that would be lying to you."

"I wouldn't want to be lied to, anyway." Stephen sighed. "Jenny seems at least marginally less inclined to beat my head in with her stilettos."

"Quinn is your worst enemy, then Connor, then Sarah. Jenny would find better ways to make sure you behaved yourself. Connor..." Cutter sighed. "Connor didn't like seeing Abby get her heart broken by you."

"I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to her for that."

"So, you've decided to be in this for the long term, then?"

"I have," Stephen said with a nod. "I wasn't going to hurt either of them by just using them for a while."

"Good, because pretty sure that Quinn would have shot you."

"I'd like to not get shot." Stephen quirked a smile.

"I'd be fond of that not happening myself." He looked at Stephen. "What did they say about her condition?"

"She... could lose her sight again, if she were to hit her head again while she's recovering."

Cutter winced noticeably. "Ouch."

"And that bitch of a nurse scared the shit out of her when informing her of this."

"No wonder you got so angry at her."

"She scared Abby and she scared Becker, and you just don't do those things."

Cutter bit back a smile. "Forming battle lines already, are you?"

"They're mine, Nick. You don't hurt what's mine."

Now Cutter did grin at him. "I haven't heard you that passionate about something in about two years."

"I can't help it. I love Abby and I never stopped loving him. Which possibly says things about the kind of person I am, but whatever."

"It doesn't make you any kind of person but someone who is love with two people that love him back and if anyone says anything different, I'll just have to shoot them."

Stephen smiled at that. "I like the way you think."

"It's a change from telling people that if they want to stop me from doing something they're going to have to shoot me. I think Jenny will be relieved at the change for awhile."

"I just hope you don't actually have to shoot anybody for it. I'm fully expecting Danny not to be too thrilled with me when he realizes that the entire time I was falling for Abby, I was already with someone."

"Oh. Well, Danny is... Danny is Danny. He considers Abby and Becker family so..."

"We'll just pray he doesn't shoot me anywhere vital."

"He won't want to deal with Abby if he does shoot you. So he might just hit you."

"I can live with that."

Cutter nodded. "Is there anything you need me to do?"

"Not right now, no."

Cutter nodded. "I'll do my best to keep the others from being too overwhelming and defensive, but it's Abby. They've been worried sick about her."

"Just try, that's all I ask." He grinned. "Well, that and give me a heads up if they form a lynch mob."

"If that happens, I'll do my best," Cutter said solemnly, but his eyes were full of mirth. "But you see, Jenny would probably be at the head of it and she is a dangerous woman to cross."

"I said heads up, I didn't tell you to stop it," Stephen retorted, managing a quiet laugh.

Cutter nodded. "A very fine distinction. Her couch isn't that comfortable."

"Couches never are."

"I like mine better," Cutter said inanely. "Much more firm. Not so many tiny bloody pillows."

Stephen just snickered. "I should get back in there. Abby's probably going crazy."

Cutter nodded. "I'll be in to talk to her a little bit later."

"Okay." Stephen nodded before heading into the room again.

Abby looked up when the door opened, and so did Becker who had been laying with his head next to hers.

"Told you I'd be back."

"I know," Abby responded. Becker also nodded.

He smiled and took a seat on the other side of the bed. "Wild horses couldn't drag me away right now."

"Or a woolly rhinoceros?" Abby quipped.

"That's not funny, Abby," Becker chastised her softly, his eyes dark. "I thought that I was going to lose you because of one of those blasted things."

Stephen just reached out to take Abby's hand in his.

Abby nudged Becker's head with her own gently as she squeezed Stephen's hand.

"I'm sorry, love. I know that you were just as scared as I was."

Stephen hadn't thought it was terribly funny, either.

"It's just that if I don't try to joke about it, I might fall apart."

Stephen could understand that. "Try for a funnier joke next time?" Okay, look, nobody said his joking was going to be any better at the moment.

She wrinkled her nose at him.

"Don't make that face at me, missy."

She stuck her tongue out at him instead.

"If he wasn't using your shoulder as a pillow right now, I would so be leaning in and kissing you," Stephen warned. "Don't stick your tongue out unless you want me to react."

Abby had her arm sort of wrapped around Becker's neck, so he wasn't going to be moving right now. "So kiss us both," she challenged.

Stephen froze for a second, looking at her. "You mean it?"

"I rarely say things that I don't mean," she said quietly. "But you can only kiss him if he says it's all right with him."

"It's... it's all right with me," Becker said after only a second of hesitation. "I promise."

Stephen smiled at that before leaning in to brush his lips gently against Abby's. He lingered like that a moment before deepening it slightly.

Abby's hand flexed around Becker's neck as Stephen kissed her. Since she had never kissed him before, this was a new experience. One that she liked.

He deepened the kiss even further for a moment before pulling back slightly, smiling almost shyly.

Abby's cheeks were slightly flushed and her smile in return was a little shy, as well.

Before Stephen could over-think things and talk himself out of it, he turned slightly to kiss Becker exactly the way he remembered the other man liking to be kissed. Not at all the kind of kiss appropriate to the situation, but damn it, it was how he'd wanted to kiss the other man.

Abby was watching this with a rapt fascination. She had never seen anyone else kiss Becker the way that she liked to, so she was intrigued.

Becker moaned softly into the kiss, whimpering as Stephen nipped at his lower lip. "You remembered," he mumbled in surprise when Stephen pulled away.

"Of course I did," Stephen said. "I remember everything you like." He gave the other man a dark look. "Everything."

"Apparently I need to take notes," Abby said with a bemused smile.

"We'll have to give you a little demonstration when you get out of here." Stephen smirked.

That caused her to blush more, but she gave them both a very interested look. "Can I go home now?" Nice try, Abby.

Stephen laughed a little despite himself. "I'm afraid not," he said. "But I promise, that first night you're home... oh, it'll happen."

And then he realized that maybe Becker wouldn't want it to. Becker was the reluctant one in this, after all.

Abby looked at him for a moment, before leaning her head back against Becker's.

"Yes, please," was Becker's slightly breathless response.

Abby relaxed. "This is definitely going to be an interesting experience," she said, her voice sounding tired.

"You need to get some sleep, love," Stephen said gently. "Don't stay awake just because we're here."

"I don't want to go to sleep," she protested stubbornly.

"You have to, though. You need it." Stephen grinned mischievously at her. "If I snog him again, will you be a good girl?"

He was not afraid to play dirty.

"That's not fair," she said softly, shaking her head and then wincing at the movement.

"Who said I play fair?" Stephen said as he sat back. "You do need the rest, though, love."

Becker shook his head at Stephen. They weren't going to play dirty like that with Abby -- not when he could see the fear that was in her eyes.

"You can't come home until the doctors say you're out of danger, love. You won't be out of danger unless you do what they say and rest so that you can heal."

And there went Stephen feeling bad.

"We just want you to get better so you can come home with us where you belong," he said as he stood, ready to put some space between them.

"Don't go!" She was holding onto Becker and trying to sit up when Stephen stood up.

"I probably should," Stephen said. "The two of you need some alone time."

Really he was just trying to apologize for teasing Abby... except he wasn't sure which of them he was apologizing to.

It was Becker who pinned him with his eyes. "Are you coming back?" The voice was quiet, but there was the hint of something in it that night have sounded like fear.

"Of course I am," Stephen said. And then, before he could stop himself: "I don't want to leave, honestly."

"Then don't," Becker responded. "Abby doesn't want to be left alone right now." He looked down at her, smiling gently. "You don't have to be scared to rest, love. We'll be here when you wake up."

Looking wary, Stephen took his seat again. "I won't leave, Abby," he said softly. "I promise."

Abby looked between the two of them and then nodded, looking at Becker. "I keep thinking I'm dreaming and when I open my eyes again, I'll be back in that hole and no one will know where I am."

"That's not going to happen," Stephen said, reaching out to stroke a finger down the side of her face. "We'll be right here. I may poke my head out into the hall to get someone to do a coffee run for me and Becker, but I won't leave."

Abby swallowed, looking at both of them for a moment and then lay her head back down in a better position on the pillows. Before she could say anything, a nurse came in and put a syringe full of something into her IV. The nurse patted her hand gently and murmured something soothing before she left the room.

Stephen liked that nurse much, much better than the other one.

He sat there, holding one of Abby's hands and watching her as she started to doze.

"Stay," was the last thing she murmured before the drugs had her sleeping deeply.

Stephen let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Should I stay?" he asked Becker.

Becker looked at Abby for a long moment and then nodded, turning to look at Stephen. "Yes."

"I know I said something stupid just now, and I know you didn't like it, and I'm afraid that I'm going to just keep doing that."

"We're probably both going to be doing that until we figure out how things are going to go between all of us."

"And it wasn't enough to make you throw me out, so in the grand scheme of things... not all that bad," Stephen reasoned.

Becker laughed quietly. "Well, that's a very good point."

"As far as mistakes go, there are worse ones I could've made." He looked down a moment before looking back up. "But I don't want to make mistakes. I made enough of them with you."

"Then don't run away when things look like they might get tough or dangerous or whatever."

"I won't. Not again."

"Good. Because if you hurt her like you hurt me before, I can't promise that I won't try to kill you and dump your body through an anomaly somewhere."

"You wouldn't try it, you'd do it." There was a note of affection in his voice, oddly enough, like he wouldn't have his guy any other way.

"Well, yes. That's true. I was trying to be polite."

"I'm never going to hurt her." Stephen looked at Becker solemnly. "And I'm never going to hurt you again."

"I really would like to believe that. You have no idea how much."

"I'm going to spend the rest of my life proving it," Stephen said quietly.

"Well, I'm giving you the chance to do so. So is she." He look at him seriously. "But I'll be honest as hell with you. Abby's happiness matters first to me. If you and I being together starts causing her pain... we'll have a problem."

"I understand," Stephen said, looking down before looking at Abby. "I don't want to hurt her, Hilary. I know you think I like hurting the people I love, but I don't."

"Then you'll just have to use this chance as a way to prove me wrong."

"Believe me, I plan to." Stephen smiled sheepishly. "And, uh, that whole giving her a demonstration thing... sorry about that."

He shrugged. "I figure there will be several demonstrations between all three of us."

"Because I do need to learn what she enjoys," Stephen said with a nod.

Oh, Stephen. Way to miss the other half of that.

"And how things have changed with me, and what I am and the things that Abby and I like together."

"I like the sound of that." Stephen smiled, and it was an almost shy smile. "Because I'm sure you've changed. I'm sure you like new things and don't like some things you used to."

"You wouldn't be able to test those theories out until Abby can come home. Because I won't have her feeling left out."

"Doesn't mean I can't think about it a lot, though," Stephen said, grinning this time. "And as I recall, you used to like knowing I was thinking about you at odd times of the day."

"That probably won't change." Becker said quietly. "I just don't want her to have second thoughts or feel left out because there so much in the air between us."

"She's never going to have cause to feel that way," Stephen said. "We'll always include her."

"That's good, because as much as there still is between you and, Stephen, I love her with everything I am. I don't want her to feel hurt in anyway."

"I remember when you loved me like that." It was said with a nostalgic smile, though. "I don't want her to feel hurt, either."

"I don't know, Stephen. I don't know how this is supposed to work out -- especially between you and I." He looked up at him with a sad smile. "But Abby seems to think that things could work out nicely."

"And I'll do my best to make it happen."

Becker nodded slowly. "I know you will. I know."

Stephen tilted his head slightly. "Something's still on your mind, though."

"It's not important right now."

"It's important to me, Hilary," he said quietly. "If it's bothering you, then it's important to me."

"I'm worried about this blowing up in our faces and someone getting hurt," he said honestly. "I've never seen or heard of a situation like ours, so I don't know what to expect. I would like to think that we can repair the damage that has been done between you and I... and that you and Abby can make repairs to things that you didn't even know were wounded."

"We'll just have to take it carefully," Stephen said. "Take it slowly and pay attention to making sure nobody gets hurt. Because the last thing I want to do is hurt either of you." He took a breath. "And if either of you wants me to leave... I will. If me staying at any point would cause more hurt, I'll leave."

"When you say things like that, it makes me think that you're expecting to have to leave." There was no anger in Becker's voice, just a deep weariness.

"I don't mean it to sound like that," Stephen said. "I'm just saying that if it doesn't work, if I end up causing pain for you and Abby... I'd rather be without you than be with you two and just make you hurt."

Becker nodded. "I wish... I wish I could say I would do the same thing, but I don't know if I could."

"I'm not saying it'd be easy for me to leave," Stephen said. "Because it wouldn't. Everything in me would be screaming to stay. But if I was hurting you and I had to leave... damn it, I'd leave." He reached across Abby to touch Becker's hand. "But please, don't take this for me saying I'm going to leave anyway. Because I'm not. The last thing I want is to leave."

"That's good to know, because I think it would kill something inside her if you were to leave -- or if I were." He sighed. "I want to believe in you, Stephen, I do. But..."

Stephen pulled back. "I deserve it," he said quietly, hurt. Not by Becker's words, but by the reality of the situation and the fact that the pain was his fault to begin with. "Your doubts, I mean."

"But I'm willing to try. I wasn't just saying that for Abby's benefit, or so that she would rest."

"And if you're willing to try, then so am I."

"I am willing."

Stephen looked at Becker a moment before holding a hand out to him.

Becker searched his face for a long moment, but finally took his hand and squeezed it gently.

Stephen just smiled.

Becker gave him a faint smile in return.

"Want me to see if I can get one of the others to make a coffee run for us so we don't have to leave her?" Stephen offered.

"That would be good," Becker accepted. "I'm not leaving her."

Stephen squeezed Becker's hand once before standing and heading for the hallway.

Jenny was sitting in one of the chairs out in the waiting area and when she saw him, she raised an eyebrow.

"Coffee run," Stephen explained. "Any chance I could convince you to go for us so we don't have to leave Abby?"

"I'll get one of the boys to go for it," Jenny said evenly. "I'm on guard duty."

"Thanks, Jenny." Stephen gave her a hesitant smile.

"You're welcome." She wasn't exactly feeling friendly towards either man right now.

Stephen looked at her for a moment before nodding and heading back into the room. "Jenny's going to send one of the guys on a run for us."

"Ahh. She's appointed herself as guard duty for this shift?"

Stephen nodded as he sat back down. "Yeah."

"She's still mad as hell, then."

"Oh, yeah. But she at least agreed to send someone on the run for us instead of telling me to go myself."

Becker winced. "We're going to be on her list for awhile."

"As long as Abby doesn't hate us, I can live with it." Because Abby and Becker were the only two whose opinions he cared about at the moment.

"She's not capable of hating anyone."

"Then the others can hate us for a while, as far as I'm concerned."

"That's because they're not your team," he pointed out. "They're also Abby's family and can make our lives a living hell if they choose to."

"They'll hate me longer anyway," Stephen said. "You they'll begrudgingly forgive in a while."

Becker sighed. "The last time they were all united against something... I was with them. Being on the opposite side is going to be so strange."

"But you're united with me and Abby," Stephen pointed out. "That has to count for something."

He looked at where Abby was sleeping. "You would think so, but when Jenny is angry at you? The days get very, very long."

"It's easier for me because I don't work at the ARC any longer, I suppose," Stephen mused.

"You could always come back," Becker said with a small grin.

"I... not even to save you misery," Stephen said apologetically.

Becker laughed hoarsely. "Yeah, thought so. This part of your life is over."

"Not right now, anyway," Stephen said. "Maybe in the future. Who knows?"

He nodded. "I can't imagine not working for the ARC. Not now."

"I can't imagine you not working there, either," Stephen said. "From what I've seen the past few days, it's a perfect fit for you."

"I love my job... when I'm not searching for my friends and loved ones."

"That part can't be good," Stephen said dryly. "I wonder what it would've been like to actually work with you."

"I'm tough on my men," he said simply. "I have to be. What we have to face when an anomaly opens? You have to be prepared for every nuance of an event." He sighed. "And prepared to deal when Abby wants to protect something from others or from your own men."

"She's... relentless." Said with much affection, though.

"Her pets usually include sharp teeth." He shook his head. "If it's not trying to eat Connor, she's trying to adopt it.

"She has a collection, doesn't she?"

"Yeah. Thankfully the Dracorex is too big for our flats or else that thing would be living with me."

"No, she cannot keep it at my flat," Stephen said instantly.

Becker laughed softly. "She had to promise Lester she wouldn't try to sneak it out of the ARC."

"And she's actually kept that promise?"

"Yes, thank god." He looked at Stephen. "I think he was surprised as the rest of us. We never know what she might bring back when she's on a mapping team."

"Collects strays, does she?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes she's on hand when they get locked out on the wrong side."

"Lucky for them." Stephen frowned thoughtfully. "You sure I'm not one of her strays?"

"Don't be an arsehole or I swear I will punch you."

"I had to ask it," Stephen said. "It would've gnawed at me. Because depending on how you look at it..."

"No. That's not how she sees you and she would be hurt and insulted if she heard you ask me that."

"I know. It's just... I'm so scared," he admitted. "Part of me can't believe she really loves me, or at least cares strongly for me. That she asked me to stay. There's a part of me that's terrified she only asked me to stay because she felt sorry for me. Never mind that I know she wants me to stay."

"She doesn't feel sorry and she loves you." He cleared his throat. "It was in her eyes, you idiot."

"I know it was. I saw it. But that doesn't stop me from being scared."

"If she didn't love you and didn't want you, she wouldn't have said anything."

"I know," Stephen said. "I do. I was just more scared than I realized about starting something with her. Add you to the equation and I'm even more scared because now I have twice the incentive not to make a mess of things."

"So don't over-think it right now or you will make a mess of it."

"When did you become the logical one?" Stephen asked, trying to give Becker a cross look but completely and utterly failing at it.

"One of us has to be."

"If you're the logical one, what does that make me?"

"I have no idea," Becker said honestly. "I'm still trying to figure out how this all works."

"I'd say I'm the pretty one, but that's Abby."

"She's definitely the pretty one. You're the stubborn one."

"I am not." But he was actually grinning as he said it, really and truly grinning.

Becker laughed softly. "You so are."

"And you love me for it." It was an automatic response, from their playful squabbles before he'd left.

Becker couldn't respond the way he used to, not right now. This was too soon and too new and he still wasn't sure how he felt about Stephen aside from still being attracted to him. "It's part of who you are. You wouldn't be you without it."

"No, I wouldn't." He smiled a little at Becker's reply, because the fact that he'd replied to it at all meant a lot.

That was the one thing that Becker knew for sure, that he had to be honest with himself as well as with Abby and Stephen if this was even going to have the slightest chance of working.

And Stephen didn't want Becker to lie, to them or to himself. If this didn't work out for some reason, he would deal. But the one thing he couldn't deal with, wouldn't deal with, would be it ending because Becker had self-destructed. He wasn't going to let that happen.

Becker leaned forward, resting his forehead on Abby's hand that he was holding. There were a lot of things in his mind right now, but all that there was room for was that if everything went right, Abby would be all right.

Stephen hesitated only slightly before reaching out to run his hand over Becker's hair. "It's going to be okay," he whispered. "I promise."

"I hope so," he whispered. "I really hope so."






Part Seven

Comments

[aoifes_isle]

Absolutely and completely fabulous m'dears.

[enochiansigils]

Thank you!

[squeezynz.livejournal.com]

hmmmm...lots of heavy stuff to deal with there, and well done for tackling it.

certainly would make for an intense sequel to see them working it all out.

great story, thanks for sharing.

[enochiansigils]

Oh, you have no idea. *grin*

[lucifersphoenix.livejournal.com]

Oh very nice!!!
This kept me entertained for a long time, even though I should have been doing work *smiles evilly*
Please tell me there is going to be more *begs with puppy dog eyes*

[enochiansigils]

Oh, there's definitely going to be more. Our fic for this year's au_bigbang is a sequel to this.

[lsellersfic.livejournal.com]

I'm glad Stephen finally realised what a prat he was being. He's very lucky that Abby and Becker were so fond of him. I hope it all works out for them.