From Where We're Standing [5/8]

[shadowcat]

Title: From Where We're Standing
Author: enochiansigils and not_from_stars
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing/Characters: Abby Maitland/Hilary Becker, Implied Stephen Hart/Hilary Becker
Rating/Category: PG-13
Summary: Two years ago, Stephen walked away from the Anomaly Research Project and vowed never to set foot near an anomaly again. However, when Nick Cutter calls him for help, he can't say no. Abby Maitland is lost on the other side of an anomaly and her time is running out. Stephen agrees immediately, because he's still in love with Abby. He wants to get her back and let her know how he feels. However, there's a complication that he hadn't expected. Captain Becker -- Abby's boyfriend and Stephen's ex...
Words: 36,000
Notes: Written for casestory Big Bang 2011. We want to thank our wonderful artists for this: weaselett, sexycazzy, and pink_flame_87. Thank you guys so very much for the gorgeous art you made for us!











"I've never seen her like this, not my Abby," Becker said, continuing to run his hand through part of Abby's hair that was away from her head wounds.

"It's scary."

"That's an understatement. I don't think I've ever seen her get hurt except for a few bruises... and the one time that arsehole from the past held her at the end of a sword."

"Say what?"

"There was a man that came through an anomaly from the past and had Abby held at sword point. The sword was against her throat."

Stephen had to fight to suppress a growl.

"She was protecting a Dracorex from him, just like she alwasy would protect the creatures. He wanted to kill the beast and Abby wouldn't let him, so he held a sword on her, wanting to know if she was willing to die for the creature. Of course, she said she was." Becker sighed, shifting so he was more comfortable next to Abby. "I wanted to shoot him, Stephen. I was ready to because he was going to hurt my girl. But Sarah said it would disrupt the timelines if I did. Apparently something about Sarah and about the way Abby was willing to let him kill her for the Dracorex cause something to break in the man. He stabbed a barrel of oil and collapsed." Becker sighed. "I might have felt bad for him if he hadn't been planning to kill Abby. We got him back through to his time as a hero and dragon slayer."

"If he had hurt Abby, you'd have killed him in a heartbeat, timelines be damned." Stephen knew Becker, knew how he would've reacted. If Abby had been hurt, Becker would have snapped.

"Oh hell yes. If he had even scratched Abby with that sword I would have shot him faster than anything. That was when --" He suddenly remembered who he was talking to and shook his head.

Stephen tilted his head curiously. "That was when what?" he prompted.

"That was when I knew without a doubt I had fallen hard for her," he admitted, embarrassed that he was talking to Stephen of all people about this. "As soon as I realized I would kill the man if she got hurt."

"It's easy to fall hard for her," Stephen said softly. "She's easy to fall in love with."

He would poke at Becker about some things without a second thought, but some things were off limits. That was one of them.

"I had fought it up until then. Did my best to keep things professional."

"But she'd gotten under your skin. You couldn't keep it professional."

"Exactly. The more I saw her, the more I wanted her."

"I know the feeling."

"I hadn't planned to fall for anyone again, and especially not someone I work with or who could get hurt every day."

"Your heart's never listened to what you want, though."

"The amazing thing was that she wanted me as much as I wanted her."

"How could someone not want you? You're amazing."

Becker shook his head, running his fingers along Abby's cheek. "I don't know how I did it, but I won her love."

"She's lucky to have had you in her life."

"I'll always be there for her," he said evenly. "I promised her that."

"And that's a good thing. She'll need friends like you."

"I'm her boyfriend as well as her best friend."

Stephen said nothing, just looked at him.

Becker's look was challenging, before he turned once more to Abby.

Stephen wanted to reach out, to touch Abby's face, but he was smart enough not to.

Becker probably would have punched him again if he did that.

Stephen settled for reaching out to lightly touch Abby's arm for a moment. He couldn't help it. He needed to touch her, to feel her there.

"You're going to be all right, Abby my girl," Becker whispered. "I promise you. Everything is going to be all right."

Stephen hated hearing Becker say those words. It should be him saying them. But at the same time, he couldn't argue with them.

There was nothing that Becker wanted to do more than sit and hold Abby in his lap, but at the same time he didn't want Stephen to see him feeling that vulnerable. He didn't know what he would do without Abby in his life, and he wasn't about to let some creature attack take her from him. Or his ex, for that matter.

Unfortunately, his ex was a ridiculously determined man. However, Stephen knew when to back away and when to move in, and this was the time to back away.

"I'll go sit watch for a while."

Becker nodded, shifting to a more comfortable position where he could shelter Abby.

Stephen watched them a moment before silently moving towards the mouth of the cave.

Once Stephen was far enough away, Becker decided the hell with what the other man might think and stretched out next to Abby. Part of it was to keep her warm and part of it was because he needed to feel her breathing.

Stephen glanced back at one point and saw Becker stretched out with Abby, and was surprised to find himself struck by an utterly ridiculous sense of missing Becker being next to him like that. He shook his head sharply to clear it. How he felt about Becker didn't matter.

He was here for Abby.

Becker wrapped his arms gently around Abby, murmuring anything he could think of to make sure she held on. The fact that she was unconscious meant she wasn't in pain, but it scared the hell out of him.

"Any change?" Stephen called over after a while, about half an hour.

"No," Becker tried to keep the tremor out of his voice, but it was hard when the love of his life was laying so still.

"She's going to be fine, Hilary." He winced. "Damn it. Sorry. Slipped out."

"I can't lose her like this," he responded. "Not to a brainless creature from the past."

"You're not going to lose her." Except there was fear in his voice, even as he tried pushing it aside to comfort Becker.

Becker pulled himself up and came to the mouth of the cave. It was still bloody raining. "You're scared we're going to lose her, too."

"Yeah," Stephen replied, nodding slightly. "I am."

"Those wounds look bad, Stephen. Especially that deeper head wound."

"Part of me wants to risk it and take her out in the rain anyway," Stephen admitted. "Just to get her to help. I know we can't, but..."

"I know. But we can't risk her any more than we already have by moving her, and there would be no way to keep her dry." He sighed. "We have to wait it out."

"I hate this," Stephen said quietly. "I hate not being able to help her."

"You and me both." Becker said, looking out into the rain. "I would also love to get a hold of the creature that did this to her -- even though I know that's irrational."

"Rationality doesn't always have a place in things when it comes to love."

"I tend to have this reaction to anything that hurts her or upsets her. She's had enough of that in her life."

"She deserves a perfect life."

"She does. She refuses to talk much about her past, but I've gotten the indications that it wasn't a very happy period of time for her."

"I just want to make life good for her again," Stephen said, but it was said simply, quietly, without any challenge.

"That's always been my intention, too."

"So we both want the same thing."

"Just have different ways of achieving that, it seems."

"Guess so."

That would be when there was an inarticulate cry from behind them.

Becker spun and was at Abby's side instantly, lifting her up gently in his arms and comforting her hoarse cries.

"Easy, Abby my girl, easy. You're safe. I've got you, I'm here. You're going to be all right. Hush, love, hush."

Stephen looked away. He couldn't watch another man comfort his girl, no matter who that other man was.

Abby was making pathetic little noises of fear and pain. Becker said fuck it and pulled her into his lap so she didn't mess up the work Stephen had done to stabilize her.

"Becker," she whimpered. "It hurts. Everything is black."

"It's ok my love. I'm here and I'm going to make sure you get taken care of."

Stephen's hands were clenching into fists at the frustration he felt. There was nothing he could do for Abby, not now. And he hated it.

Becker ran soothing hands over her face and the parts of her hair not matted into the wounds. Soon, she had fallen into unconsciousness again.

"It has to stop raining again," Stephen said. "It just has to. We have to get her help."

"She's getting worse."

"Do you want me to sit with her a while?" Stephen offered. "So you can actually get some sleep, I mean. She's... she's going to need you at your best when we manage to get her out of here."

Becker wanted to refuse, because he knew what Stephen's ultimate plan was when they got back home. However, he couldn't argue with the fact that he needed at least some rest if he was going to be of any good to Abby. Sighing, he nodded.

"I promise I'll play nice," was all Stephen said as he stood, moving to sit next to Abby. "And Becker? You look wiped. Actually get some sleep. Don't just lay there."

Becker nodded and gently moved Abby off of his lap and onto the pallet they had made her. Kissing her cheek gently, he moved a few feet away so that he could stretch out and try to get some rest.

Stephen sat next to Abby, reaching out to take her hand in his. "You have to stay with us," he said softly. "We need you. Both of us."

Abby didn't respond, but Becker was watching him silently.

"He loves you, and I love you, and we... we just need you."

Becker winced and closed his eyes. Damn it, he should not be feeling bad for Stephen. The other man had been very clear in that he planned to wreck his world. However, he understood very well the fear that Abby wouldn't make it.

"And you have to pull through, just so you can hear me apologize. Because how often do I do that?"

Not all that often, Becker thought as he turned his head away from the scene to stare at the cave wall.

Stephen went quiet after a moment, just watching Abby. She was going to pull through this. She had to.

He didn't dare believe otherwise.

Abby whimpered faintly before trying to turn over on the pallet.

"Don't move," he said softly, gently keeping her from actually turning over.

"Help," she whimpered. "Someone help me. I'm down here."

"We're here, Abby," he said, keeping his voice gentle. "We're right here."

Abby whispered a few more things that were too quiet to make out exactly. However, it was evident that she was scared and in pain.

Stephen didn't know what to do for her, but he wasn't going to drag Becker into this to comfort her. No, this was his chance. So he settled for whispering reassuring words and lightly stroking her cheek with one hand.

Abby finally stilled again, his reassurance seeming to soothe her enough that she lapsed back into silence.

He smiled at that. Not because he was trying to one-up Becker or anything like that, not at the moment. No, this time he simply smiled out of sheer relief that he'd been able to do something for her, however small.

Becker lost track of how long he had laid there, drifting in and out of a light sleep. He couldn't sleep very much because he was so worried about Abby. He kept seeing how she looked when he got to her -- and how she had collapsed against him.

It was Stephen's turn to be tired now, but he was ignoring that so Becker could get whatever bits of sleep he could. Besides, Becker was the one who'd been running on adrenaline for days, not Stephen. Stephen could handle a little lack of sleep.

Becker caught a few more snatches of sleep and then sighed. He wasn't going to sleep any more right now, so he got to his feet. He stretched out cold muscles for a moment before he returned to Abby's side.

"You managed almost three hours, off and on," Stephen said. "So... two hours of actual sleep in there somewhere."

Yes, he realized that knowing this implied he'd been watching Becker.

"I kept seeing her," he admitted quietly, reaching out to reassure himself that she really was still breathing and therefore alive.

"Our nerves are going to be shot by the time the rain ends, aren't they?"

Their nerves were already shot and had been even before they'd found Abby, if they were going to be perfectly honest.

"I won't have a breakdown until we get her home safe," Becker said quietly. "She can't afford that." He reached out to touch her face and frowned. "No. This isn't good and she doesn't need this."

"I'll go keep watch for a while," Stephen offered. "So you can sit with her in private."

He wasn't sure when exactly he'd started being less militant about his plan. Oh, he was still firmly intending on taking Abby, but that didn't mean he had to make this entire thing any more miserable than it already was.

"She's running a fever," Becker said quietly.

Well, that changed things a little more.

"We need to figure out a way to bring it down, if we even can," Stephen said, glancing towards the mouth of the cave. "That and pray the rain stops. Because I think that's the only way it's going to any time soon."

"Yeah, because there is no way we can take her out in that and not risk her getting worse." Becker was quiet for a moment. "I need rags and some heated water. The water needs to be warm, but not hot and definitely not cold. If I keep bathing her head and face we might be able to keep the fever from becoming worse. We'll also have to change her bandages."

Becker taking charge for the moment left Stephen to get everything together, something he didn't mind doing. And he had enough tact to bite back the handful of snide comments he was thinking. There was a time and a place for that, and this was neither of those.

When they had a small campfire going, Becker took something out of one of the packs. It was a cooking pot, but for now, it would work as what he needed it for. While Stephen was gathering things to change the worst of Abby's bandages, Becker was wiping her face and forehead with a damp rag and talking to her in whispered phrases.

Stephen was back a couple minutes later with everything he could gather. "How's she doing?"

"The fever is high," Becker said grimly, focused completely on Abby. "I'm trying to get her cooled down as best as we can."

Stephen just knelt next to Becker, waiting for whatever the man told him to do next. There were times to make another move for Abby; this was not one of those times. When she was out of danger, oh yes. But not now.

"The bandages on her head and shoulder should be changed. Those are the ones that the infection can get into easiest, besides her lungs right now."

Stephen just nodded and set about changing the bandage on Abby's head first, since it was the easiest to get to and wouldn't require any actual help from Becker.

Becker just continued with what he was doing, and that included undoing the shirt the had put on Abby so that he could cool odd her chest and throat.

"Okay, that one's good to go," Stephen said as he finished replacing the bandage on the head wound. "I'll need your help with the rest."

Becker nodded. Having battles with Stephen had been pushed to the back of his mind as he focused on Abby. Right now, she was the only thing that mattered.

And they worked well when they weren't fighting each other, as shown by the way they quickly and efficiently got the rest of Abby's wounds rebandaged.

After she was laying back down, covered with the blanket, Becker went back to wiping her head and face. "Come on, Abby my girl," he murmured. "You're not letting something like this beat you. Not when you were going to take on a man armed with a sword with your bare hands."

Stephen retreated once they were done. There was only so much he could take of watching Becker's tenderness.

If only Stephen knew how much Becker was struggling to keep his voice tender like this and not break down. "Please, love," he whispered. "You have to hang on until we can get you out of here. I can't lose you, you know that."

Stephen moved to the mouth of the cave again, staring out at the rain. If only he could make it stop just by wanting it to.

If he could do that, Becker might stop growling at him every time he looked his way.

Unfortunately, he couldn't. So Stephen could only sit and watch the rain and pray with a ferocity he didn't realize he had in him.

Becker kept up murmuring to Abby -- at times begging and at times ordering -- as he continued to wipe her down. Finally, he sat back, shaking his head. He got all of the covering tucked back around her and just sat, watching her face.

Stephen turned, looking at Becker. The misery was evident on the younger man's face; Stephen wanted to say something, anything at all, to make it better.

Becker wasn't aware that Stephen was looking at him. All he could focus on right now was the too pale face of the woman he loved.

Stephen made a frustrated sound low in his throat.

"The rain doesn't show any sign of letting up?"

"No, unfortunately." The words were distinctly cranky.

Becker sighed. "At least we found her and got her out of that damn hole."

Stephen nodded. "That's something. And for now, it'll have to be enough." Only it wouldn't be, not for either of them.

"It is something and something that I hope we never have to experience again." Because seeing Abby broken and trapped like that had scared him in ways he hadn't thought possible.

"I'm glad I found her," Stephen said quietly. "That we found her."

"Thank you for coming along," Becker's eyes didn't leave Abby.

"I wouldn't have missed it for anything. They're not going to love me at work for a while, but oh well." Stephen shrugged. "She's more important."

"Where do you work now? I'm sure Lester can pull some string and smooth things over for you."

"I work for an animal conservation group. I mostly do tracking. My being gone means they had to put someone else on an assignment I was supposed to be starting all of an hour after Nick called me."

He didn't care. Whatever happened, whether Lester fixed things for him or he got in some sort of trouble for it, it would all be worth it if Abby survived.

"Lester will take care of it," Becker murmured. "You came to help him find one of his people that was missing. Lester is fiercely protective of his people. He wasn't about to leave Abby in here no matter what the Minister's orders were."

"Even if he doesn't... I can live with the consequences. Abby's more important than whether or not I get in trouble."

Becker made a noise that might have been a laugh if the circumstances hadn't been so serious. "It's a good thing that Abby can't hear you say that."

"My friends will always come first."

"She'd still try to argue with you over it," Becker said faintly. "She could be in mortal danger and she would still say that you needed to look after yourself and your security."

"I can be just as stubborn as she can. It's a fight she'd lose." Stephen shrugged one shoulder. "Besides, I'm a damn good tracker. Wouldn't be hard to find work."

"I would almost pay to see the two of you try to battle that out," Becker said, looking at Abby. "Because she would give you one look with those blue eyes of hers and you would cave."

"I would not," Stephen protested. "It'd be two looks, at least."

Becker laughed and shook his head. "She got Lester to cave in three looks, Stephen. You wouldn't last past one."

"My determination would have to count for something."

"Lester thought he was going to leave the ARC and take a higher position with the Minister's office."

"... if she used that look of hers for evil, we'd all be screwed."

"Luckily, there's not an evil damn bone in Abby's body."

"No, there's not," Stephen agreed.

"That's one of the things I love about her. She thinks of everyone else first most of the time." He swallowed back the tears that were threatening. "Even if it was tearing her heart out to do it, she'd take care of someone else's wants instead of hers."

"She's an amazing, special woman," Stephen said gently.

"She is. I've never known anyone like her and now I'm worried I'm going to lose her in some prehistoric hunting ground."

"You're not going to," Stephen said. "I refuse to let that happen."

Yeah, by taking her away from me, Becker thought as he wiped Abby's face again.

Stephen realized he'd said too much and went silent.

"Abby, come on girl, you need to wake up."

Stephen bit the inside of his cheek hard.

"Please wake up," he whispered softly. "You need to wake up because I need to know you're going to be all right and I can't do that if you don't open your eyes for me."

Stephen winced, tasting blood. And yet he bit his cheek again anyway to keep from reacting.

Becker wiped Abby's forehead with the damp cloth again. "Besides, who is going to yell at me when I try to get in the way of a creature you're determined to take care of no matter how big the teeth are? Connor knows better than to try. And the Dracorex doesn't react well to anyone but you, you know that, Abby my girl. You don't want her to decide to get attached to Lester like that mammoth has. We'll never hear the end of it from him."

Stephen laughed at that. "He'd have this little menagerie trying to follow him around. It'd be hilarious. Ill-advised but hilarious."

Becker did manage a weak laugh. "The mammoth is completely devoted to Lester. It's pretty funny to see his reaction every time Lester walks by the pens."

"And Lester just has that quiet, long-suffering look on his face."

"When we're not looking, yes. But Connor showed Abby and I some of the security feeds that showed Lester going down and giving the mammoth treats."

Stephen couldn't help snickering. "Oh, that is adorable."

"Abby loves it."

"Lester would kill Connor if he knew anybody had actually seen that."

"We all pretend that Lester has no heart and he pretends that we believe that," Becker said quietly as he wiped down Abby's face.

"He's not so bad, though. I suppose."

"He cares deeply about his people," Becker said, and there might have been a hint of a warning there. "He won't let most people see it, but he's the reason that Cutter called you in for help. He refused to leave Abby lost out here."

"In that case, I think I need to thank him."

"Possibly." He didn't look up from what he was doing. "He might pretend he has no idea what you're talking about, too."

"That sounds like him."

"He thinks that if he gives the impression that we're just employees it keeps the Minister from interfering in operations. At least that's Abby's theory."

"Makes sense, anyway."

"We all think so," Becker said softly. "She has a lot of good theories and I wish I listened more too them... or asked about them when we're not in the middle of a call or an incursion."

"You'll get the chance to."

"I'd better because if she dies from this I am so going to kick her ass." It was a special kind of logic, really. But he was too worried to try to make sense right now. "That and I'll be the first person that has a rug made from a woolly rhinoceros."

The logic made perfect sense to Stephen. "She dies, I'll be right there helping with that rug."

Becker nodded. "I know." That much he did know. If Abby died there would be a lot of creature corpses -- even if she would have hated that kind of vengeance.

Because if she died, they'd be long on anger and short on rationality.

"Blasted rain," Becker muttered, brushing back a strand of Abby's hair from her face.

Stephen nodded slightly and went back to staring out at the rain.

"I suppose that it was too much to ask that the rescue go smoothly once we got her out of that hole."

"Our lives have never been smooth."

"That's true. Sometimes I've wished it were, but then I wouldn't have what I do if it had been easy."

"Same here, pretty much."

"An easy road wouldn't have brought me to the ARC -- or to Abby."

"Or to me." And there he went with that remarkable knack for ruining a good moment.

He seemed to love doing that.

"I did say it hadn't been an easy road."

Stephen sighed, leaning his head back against the cave wall.

Really, Stephen should have expected that response. Becker shifted his stance and settled next to Abby again.

Stephen had been lulled again by the fact that they'd had most of a conversation in complete civility. He should have been more careful about that.

Becker was wiping Abby's forehead when her eyes opened. "Becker? Becker?"

"Easy, Abby my girl, I'm right here." He brushed his fingers against her face.

"I can't see you," she whimpered. "Why can't I see you?"

"You've been hurt pretty badly, love, but after this rain lets up, we're going to get you to a hospital and they'll fix you up."

"Hurts."

"I know, love. I wish I could make the pain go away."

Stephen wished the same, wished it with everything in him. He wanted to go to Abby's side, but he couldn't. He never could, as long as Becker was there.

"Don't leave me, love," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Hush. There's nothing for you to be sorry about and I'm not going anywhere without you."

When she didn't respond, Becker closed his eyes. She was unconscious again.

Stephen could practically feel Becker's pain in the air. He wanted to say something, but really, what did he say?

There wasn't really anything he could say. Becker sighed quietly and brushed Abby's cheek with his hand. "Please hold on."

Stephen just looked out at the rain and offered up silent prayers for Abby to get better.



It was the second straight day of rain and Becker was getting more and more antsy with every minute that passed.

The one good thing for Stephen was that Becker's being antsy made the man pace, which meant Stephen got to sit with Abby. But in her condition, all he could think about was praying that she got better.

"This needs to stop," he growled, pacing at the opening. "She can't stay here much longer."

"This cannot happen," Stephen said quietly. "This cannot happen this way. It just can't."

"What way?"

"Stuck in a goddamn cave. Abby deserves better than this. She deserves more than possible death in some miserable cave." And God, did it hurt to even think about Abby dying.

"She's not going to die on us, Stephen. We won't let that happen."

"No, we won't," Stephen agreed, trying to keep the desperation out of his eyes as he looked at Becker.

"If it doesn't let up by tomorrow, we're taking a chance. We're wrapping her up as warmly as we can and we are getting her to that damn anomaly and getting her to help. I know it's risky, but so is keeping her in a cold cave without better medical attention than we can give her." Which had gotten scarier to him since she hadn't regained consciousness since early the previous day.

"We're going to get her home, Becker. Either way, we're getting her home and getting her the attention she needs."

"We have to," Becker nodded. "She hasn't woken up once since yesterday and we both that doesn't mean anything good."

Stephen could only nod and look at Abby; if she didn't wake up soon, the odds were against her. Even more than they already were.

"If she's slipped into a coma, Stephen, she's in trouble."

"I know," Stephen said quietly. "I know."

Becker ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I won't lose her. Not after all of this. I'm not going to let this damn place take her."

"We're not going to let it," Stephen corrected... but without any of the heat of the past couple days.

Becker was too worried about Abby to even think about trying to start an argument with Stephen. "We won't," he amended. "Somehow, we'll get her the hell out of here and home no matter what the weather does."

"Because there's no damn way we're going to let this damn place win," Stephen said. "Abby deserves better than that."

"She does. We won't let her lose her life in a place like this with us standing here bloody helpless to save her."

"And if, God forbid, the worst happens... it's going to be back home, with her friends and loved ones around her." Because while Stephen didn't know if that was what she'd want, he was pretty damn sure she wouldn't want to die alone.

Becker agreed with him. "But it won't be here."

"No, it won't."

They needed to say this, and they needed to say it to each other. Because it was something hard to say and to hear, but there was the very real danger that Abby might die. It was something they needed to face, because if they didn't, they couldn't focus on getting her to safety and help.






Part Four | Part Six

Comments

[lsellersfic.livejournal.com]

Stephen really is being a total prat. I agree Abby deserves to know how he feels, but does he really need to keep rubbing Becker's nose in it in the middle of a crisis!!